Our Cabinet Ministers, Representatives, and Senators
Qualifications:
1. Must be corrupt to the core of existence; even better if have a family history
2. Must own businesses--legal or illegal (we don't care)--worth at least $1 million, OR be a lawyer whose heart and mind are always on sale, OR be or relate to a Metropolitan or Provincial Mafia Boss
3. Must have an army of thugs ready at all time
4. Must be good at lying straight face, faking sincerity, and crying publicly in order to solicit sympathy
5. Must pledge allegiance to and swear to follow in footsteps of Satan, Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, and Marcos until death
6. Intend to steal, rob, and rip off national treasures for personal gains
7. Must never hesitate to kill innocent people (dispensible political pawns) for own survival
8. Must have an ultimate agenda to sell out or auction off the country
9. Must be able to manage/arrange cheating at any level and time of election
10. Must be able to crush opposition or auditing bodies at all cost
11. Must have secret overseas bank accounts and hideaway places in case a temporary vacation is needed.
12. Must be deaf, dumb, and simply ignorant, to the King's advice and rebukes, intellectuals' comments, and people's need
13. Must be able to readily forget campaign promises
14. Must act confidently arrogant at all time
15. Must not have personal moral convictions, political ideals, and social principles to adhere to
16. Does not have to be a college graduate. Diplomas at any level can be easily purchased
17. Must assist family members, relatives, and cronies in obtaining favors in, taking advantages of, and winning biddings of all government projects
18. Preferably be an alumnus of military academy in order to extend influence to and exert control over armed forces
19. Must be willing to spend all resources to buy votes
20. Must be good at playing a knight in a shining armor on the back of a white horse
21. Must be good at fooling uneducated and uninformed peasants in order to secure their votes
If you have all of the above characteristics, please come join us at the feast, "The Biggest Buffet Table" on earth, hosted by the current Prime Minister.
However, these are only basic requirements. In-depth personal interviews are required. A certain political party whose leader wants to be the First President of Thailand will need to confirm your support in person.
Just print out this form, sign your name, affix a recent photo, and submit the signed form to the National Election Commission.
1. Must be corrupt to the core of existence; even better if have a family history
2. Must own businesses--legal or illegal (we don't care)--worth at least $1 million, OR be a lawyer whose heart and mind are always on sale, OR be or relate to a Metropolitan or Provincial Mafia Boss
3. Must have an army of thugs ready at all time
4. Must be good at lying straight face, faking sincerity, and crying publicly in order to solicit sympathy
5. Must pledge allegiance to and swear to follow in footsteps of Satan, Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, and Marcos until death
6. Intend to steal, rob, and rip off national treasures for personal gains
7. Must never hesitate to kill innocent people (dispensible political pawns) for own survival
8. Must have an ultimate agenda to sell out or auction off the country
9. Must be able to manage/arrange cheating at any level and time of election
10. Must be able to crush opposition or auditing bodies at all cost
11. Must have secret overseas bank accounts and hideaway places in case a temporary vacation is needed.
12. Must be deaf, dumb, and simply ignorant, to the King's advice and rebukes, intellectuals' comments, and people's need
13. Must be able to readily forget campaign promises
14. Must act confidently arrogant at all time
15. Must not have personal moral convictions, political ideals, and social principles to adhere to
16. Does not have to be a college graduate. Diplomas at any level can be easily purchased
17. Must assist family members, relatives, and cronies in obtaining favors in, taking advantages of, and winning biddings of all government projects
18. Preferably be an alumnus of military academy in order to extend influence to and exert control over armed forces
19. Must be willing to spend all resources to buy votes
20. Must be good at playing a knight in a shining armor on the back of a white horse
21. Must be good at fooling uneducated and uninformed peasants in order to secure their votes
If you have all of the above characteristics, please come join us at the feast, "The Biggest Buffet Table" on earth, hosted by the current Prime Minister.
However, these are only basic requirements. In-depth personal interviews are required. A certain political party whose leader wants to be the First President of Thailand will need to confirm your support in person.
Just print out this form, sign your name, affix a recent photo, and submit the signed form to the National Election Commission.
posted by A Desperate Seeker at 7:12 PM
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